In The Twinkle Of An Eye

Life is too short to miss the magic of friendship. I know as I approach my 66^th year that there are less years to live than have passed. What’s most important is the person I want to walk through the rest of my life with – friend, lover, confidante, inspiration and most importantly someone with whom to share a mutual vision for the future. To experience new places, meet new people and achieve new things.

Human behaviour meant we probably didn’t have these intentions when first we met. A different type of twinkle in the eye. With the progression of time the mutual experiences being more positive then negative – we built a life together. Through those 20 to 30 years leading up to ‘the golden years’ there will be many situations and opportunities which lead to a questioning of the status quo. I know because I meet many couples in just that situation. People with young children, teenage children, large mortgage, business and/or work obligations, extended family expectations, loss of grandparents, aging parents, health concerns and external temptations. These are critical times for couples, many of whom don’t remain together and many who do, but have lost the spark. The eyes have glazed and the twinkle has gone.

I remember the wisdom of my grandmother. ‘Don’t turn your back on each other’, ‘Make up and then go to sleep’ - Easier said than done, but sound philosophy.

So how does financial planning assist in the arena of life when all around seems so volatile. The humps and hollows of time passing by. We need passion, hope and faith. A passion for what we do and how we want to live our life. Hope for what we want to achieve for ourselves and others around us and faith in the process we are using as the means to get there. We have a purpose. We are living life on purpose. A values system and a moral compass. Without these principles and philosophies the danger exists to succumb to someone else’s programme or agenda and not our own.

I often talk about – ‘being on the same page’. It is just as important in life as it is in business. Start singing from different song sheets and the ‘noise’ is one of dissent rather than rhythm, in the home or the work place. And the reason it happens – usually lack of or poor communication. No clarity around mutual expectations or shared outcomes. Reactions to events and debate about consequences.

27 years ago we wrote our goals and plans. Where we wanted to live, how we wanted to live, what we wanted to achieve, how much we thought was needed to live comfortably and how we were going to achieve those dreams through business and pleasure. An amazing record of old scraps of paper of varying sizes – words and numbers – dates and events. What is blatantly obvious is not the necessity for order and preciseness but the shared vision and values coming from communication and compromise – reviewed and repeated. Year after year. Whilst not every year went to plan or every decade better than the last there is a certain satisfaction in reflecting on the outcome.

Who knows as we visit and experience further exotic places or simply relax and have the grandchildren around – that the twinkle will not only shine for all to see but provide the legacy for others to follow and improve upon.

Financial planning together works – the alignment of mutual goals and aspirations with strategies and actions to implement, but sometimes it needs a third party to facilitate. That’s the role of an adviser. Someone with whom there is mutual trust and respect.